his greatest contribution is the ones you leave behind, raised on the ways of gentle kindness

The one thing that I worry about most....having something horrible happen at home when I am more than 900 miles away. check. Grandpa Black passed away, I'm sitting in the Memphis airport waiting for my flight to board, it's horribly surreal. There were 3 people at my gate, I sat facing the windows, not in the mood to bother trying to people watch. It's a cloudy and overcast day (a rarity) except for one spot in the sky. No clouds, no gray, the sun shining through. It's 7 a.m. and I'm crying in a public place. Damn, Grandpa is up there probably shaking his head popping unsalted peanuts thinking, "oh cripes. get a grip, Kami."

There are so many things I kept thinking about this week....and it always came back to the same thing, it was his time and God thought so too, he was ready. I was not. We were not. I think the longer he was in the hospital, the more he was trying to prepare us for that reality and not get our hopes up because it was okay, he is going to a better place.

I've learned so much from Grandpa and Grandma. They spent almost all of their time over last 56 years together. I can't even fathom the amount of time, memories and stories that they created and shared. Without a doubt, Grandma can. Their relationship defines what it means to love, to share your life with someone and I admire that immensely.

Being in the Delta hasn't let me laugh about the good times that we have shared. Although I'm SUPER glad that Grandpa was able to come visit last year, despite the dog stuck below our house directly under the bed they were sleeping in, the first ice storm in Mississippi in the last two years happening that weekend, the lack of electricity in our bathroom for things like shaving, etc. And to top it off, I think I gained four pounds from eating the candy that he happened to find during frequent trips in Wal-Mart. I'll forever laugh thinking about his "ring" from his "Mississippi girlfriend" that had my roommates and I cracking up during breakfast one morning. When I called Grandpa after his survey he answered the phone saying, "well, you're calling from a long ways away." And although he was probably bitter about only eating ice chips at the time, he still chatted about Mississippi, my job, and the horrendous weather. I'll forever cherish that conversation.

And although he wasn't a southern man, this Alan Jackson song is phrases things all too well. Word to the wise...don't read an obituary in an airport. I'm debating posting this and I might delete it later. My G key isn't working very well so I wonder how many words are missing that letter that I didn't catch. Anyway, getting ready for my last leg of this trip...ready to be home for a bit. I tried sleeping on the last flight but only ended up head-bobbing which always looks cool. Better do a little people watching, this guy next to me is eating ice cream (it's 10:30 in the morning). I'm sure there are other awesome things I can spot.

Love,

Kami