Oldies but goodies

So, I never posted the quotes I kept from my kids my 2nd year of teaching. However, I kept all of them on numerous post-it notes in a plastic bag. I had it in my bag and on my way to Minnesota for Grandpa Black's funeral, I pulled it out on the plane and found myself laughing more than crying. Although I know the kids more...hopefully they are still funny to everyone else.

(B.W. and Mama came into the class with the little cousin)
B's mama: Say hey to Braxton's teacher
little cousin: waves and says, "white."

Student: They musta not bring your stuff back yet?
D.P: I know where you need put it? You need to put it in your house then nobody gone get it.

Ms. Ward: Lebruhnze, wake up and write your words.
L.G: (with a sigh) I'm tryin' have a dream.

Ms. Ward: Where you go fishing at?
L.G.: You know, where all the water be at.

Ms. Ward: /f/ /i/ /l/ fill. Who can give me a sentence with the word fill in it?
T.T: You can fill a boy.
Ms. Ward: (thought for a second) ugh, no. this is fill not feel.

Ms. Ward: What kind of animal am I counting? (Pointing to a bird)
D.P: A parrot!
Ms. Ward: right! How do you know that?
D.P: Cause that what a parrot look like
Ms. Ward: how do you know?
D.P: I just know.

(after Mrs. Beamon returned from having previous day off)
Ms. Ward: Turn to Mrs. Beamon and tell her we missed her yesterday
class: We missed you!
A.M: Ms. Ward was crying! (That was the truth)

Ms. Ward: Two things special about today. It's the last day of the month and it's my friend's birthday.
Student: I know your boyfriend. His name is Jarrius.
(Jarrius is a first grader)

(Making predictions about where Mrs. Beamon is)
1. Mrs Swamp got her (from the book Mrs. Nelson is Missing)
2. She went to Mrs. Swamp's house
3. She sick
4. She at the bad school. You know Mrs. Swamps school. Yeah and she gave that boy wood to eat cause he be hungry.
(then they looked out the window and found Mrs. Beamon in a tree apparently)

Ms. Ward: which word has the same beginning sounds: puzzle, pumpkin
K.W. (points to puppy)
Ms. Ward: Good, circle it
K.W.: Muh Ward, I like puppies.

Mrs. Hanken (cafeteria worker) asks why I don't eat their food.
Me: I brought my lunch!....(I leave to sit with my class)
Mrs. Barner: she's trying to stay skinny
Mrs. Hanken (yells out the cafeteria door): Ms. Ward, black people food WILL make you fat!

D.P: Man, what's this doing in my pocket? (as he pulls lint out of his pocket)

Ms. Ward (holds up letter M): what letter is this?
D.P: U
B.W: That's not a U
Ms. Ward: What letter is this?
B.W: U
NO!

Ms. Ward: Quit pickin your nose.
D.P: All I tryin to do is get it out my nose
Ms. Ward: Quit. Get your finger out of your nose

Ms. Ward: what starts with /m/
T.T: Dog
Ms. Ward: Does dog start with /m/
T.T: No
D.P: Then why you say it?

Student: you musta got new nails put on? (after painting my nails for Ingrid's wedding)

Student: Muh Ward, someone betta do sumpton bout that boy.
Ms. Ward: who?
Student: Him, naw, that one (pointing at L.S.)
Ms. Ward: Why?
Student: He be getting in trouble all da time...

Ms. Ward: What's this? (holds up a picture of a wig)
T.T: a wig.....my mama wear a wig!

Ms. Ward: I didn't hear anyone say the ending sound!
D.P: You didn't hear me Muh Ward. I didn't hear me either.

A.M: Muh Ward, you all look alike (in reference to my mom, grandma and grandpa)
Ms. Ward: really? why?
A.M: cause you all white

K.B: They said he lives in the L.G
Ms. Ward: What's the L.G?
K.B: I don't know. I live in Mo'head.

J.P: What's wrong with your head? (I was wearing a headband that day)

L.G: There are two Michael Jacksons. A black one and a white one.

F.E: (in reference to Sara visiting and working with them in our classroom library) she talks like you.
Ms. Ward: What does that mean?
A.M: (to herself) like Chinese

Ms. Ward: My pants are too tight
Z.B: Just like apple-bottom jeans.

B.W.: My mama says she be sad when I'm on red
Ms. Ward: oh yeah? me too.
B. W: And my auntie sad and my granddad. My granddad dead.
Ms. Ward: Oh? I'm sorry.
B.W.: I forgive you
(apparently we were working on our manners)

Ms. Ward: Did everybody eat a good breakfast so you're ready for May Day?
Student: I tore that corndog up

L.G is mad because he lost his recess. Looks across the table to B.W. (also lost recess) and starts laughing, hard.
Ms. Ward: What's so funny?
L.G: he said he was being good (proceeded to laugh hysterically)
B.W starts laughing as a result. I'm laughing obviously.
B.W to L.G: I'm gonna tell your mama, I'm gonna tell her.

L.G: Muh Ward, what they be calling you at home?
Ms. Ward: why?
L.G: cause I jus wanna know. I know what they call Ms. Davis.
Ms. Ward: Oh yeah? What?
L.G: (confidently) Stephanie. (her name is Jessica. I find this hysterical mostly because I think she just played a REALLY good joke on him!)